Wednesday, August 1, 2012

On being myself

You spend your teenage years alternating between desperately wanting to fit in and dying to be different. Finding an identity is something not many of us accomplish early on, yet we are always someone, since, you know, you can't really be nobody. Like I stated somewhere, on one side (can't even remember which) of the blog's front page, I am "emerging" from my teen years. Officially I already did, several months ago, when a mysterious calendar page was turned in some weird mysterious place, making me 20. Twenty. Five years ago, that seemed way, way, way off into the distance.

As you may well know, emerging from one's adolescence is kind of hard work. All sorts of choices to be made, things to deal with. Trying to decide what is true and what is crap from the sea-full of quotes, advice, norms and social pressures. You are of course free to periodically change your mind, learn your lessons at your own speed, even make mistakes.

But then, one day, you come to a realisation that makes everything fall into place. It may be very obvious to some, or a tough nuggets kind of situation to some, so brace yourselves: you can only be yourself.

Sure, you may spend a while being wrong about who you are. Or playing at being someone else. It may even be fun or satisfying for a period of time. But, eventually, we only reach our full potential when we are entirely ourselves. No censorship, no "I shouldn't say that", no hesitation.

On a personal note, who am I?

Unapologetically, I'm an almost-blonde Eastern European 20-year-old girl young woman with mild feminist and liberal tendencies, who loves fashion in all its shapes and forms. I love both hard rock and hip hop, pretty floral things and rugged weird stuff. I'm horribly mean and pretty kind at the same time. I prefer TV shows over movies because I can't let go of things. I'm good at languages, but study management&economics (and marginally suck at it, thankyouverymuch). I haven't blogged here in 2 months, and I am, at the same time, regretful and not sorry at all. Also, lately, I've become proficient at taking sh*t from no one.


  1. This is a very beautiful post. Trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be, is all part of growing up. It's a difficult process.

  2. Love this post :)
    It's such a great wonderful reliving feeling once you find yourself and are comfortable with it and you stop giving a f*ck what anyone thinks! :D

    Eliza :)

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